The Grunkle Strikes Back
by lordsesshomaru2
Summary: In honor of May 4th.


**Disclaimer: Star Wars and Gravity Falls belong to Disney.**

 **The Grunkle Strikes Back**

 _Gravity Falls is in a state of shock after the catastrophic gravity disruptions created by the now revealed dimensional portal. After 30 long years, Stan has finally been reunited with his twin brother, but at what cost?_

-1 week after NWHS-

Dipper stared at the Mystery Shack from its parking lot. The once rustic cabin was now a dilapidated wreck, stepping into it would surely be hazardous. But he had to go in, for Mabel's sake, it was the first time that the con-man who had called himself their Grunkle had left the Author, Soos, and Mabel. Dipper briefly regretted not sticking around to hear Stan's explanation after the Author stormed past them following the portal's activation, but the man had a talent for deception. The man could likely tell Dipper the truth and make him think it was a lie.

No, he would confront the swindler here, away from the others and discern the truth himself. If Dipper found his explanation wanting, Dipper would use the refunded bus tickets from the time Gideon took over the Shack to purchase new ones, and get Mabel and himself on the first ride out. Mabel would be angry later, but he would use her relief at seeing him after a week's absence to trick her into getting away. Dipper walked forward and entered the dark confines of the Mystery Shack.

* * *

Dipper's footsteps echoed throughout the dusty interior, the sunlight coming through the various cracks and windows illuminated whirling specks of dust in the otherwise unlit shack. There was a single set of footprints tracking through the settling dust; the quarter sized space that accompanied the footprints indicated that Stan was carrying his 8-ball cane. The fact that the old man was armed did not deter Dipper as he followed the tracks to the stairway leading up to the attic and the twins' bedroom. Dipper used his experience with the creaking steps to silently creep up the stairs, and made his way over to open bedroom door. There, standing by the open window was the man he sought. The man's flawless suit and the fez on top of his head cast con-man in a sinister light.

"So, you've finally returned. Eh, Dipper?" Stan spoke. The con-man turned around to face Dipper. "Where have you been hiding this past week, Mabel's been worried about you."

"Nowhere in particular, just wandering from place to place." Dipper replied evasively. Dipper reached into his vest and withdrew the Manotaur's dagger, he planned on interrogating the man with the threat of the blade, but his time spent with the Manotaur's had taught him how to use it if needed. The older man eyed the weapon.

"I see, so it's like that huh?" Dipper nodded.

"I don't know who you are, but I'm not going to let you hurt Mabel. Now, who are you, really?"

"That's admirable kid, looking out for your sister. But don't you think you're taking this too far?" Stan answered, ignoring the boy's question. Dipper glared at the man, he was getting the feeling that he would have to fall back on plan B.

"When it comes to Mabel's safety, there's nothing I won't do." Dipper spat. He pointed the dagger at Stan. "I'll ask you again, who are you, and why have you been lying to us all summer?"

"You're not ready for the truth yet, you're too angry to hear it. But it's good to know that you're dedicated to your sibling, I guess we're not so different after all." Stan grinned.

"We're nothing alike." Dipper growled as he lunged at con-man, intending on simply cutting him to show how serious the boy was about getting the answers he sought. Stan agilely side-stepped the boy's attack despite the small space of the bedroom.

"Kid, put the blade down before this goes places you don't want it to go. You're not nearly as good with it as you think you are." Stan noted. Dipper shook his head.

"Not until I get the answers I want."

Stan sighed as he grabbed the head and shaft of the cane. He pressed the 8 of the ball while twisting the cane, and in a single flowing movement, revealed the hidden blade within the cane with a hiss of steel. Dipper's eye widened at the revelation of the weapon. Stan observed the boy's surprise. "You still want to do this Dipper? We can sit down and talk this over you know."

Dipper hesitated, uncertain if he wanted to continue, but he remembered that this man was a liar who had pretended to be related to them for the entire summer. And he had spent the past thirty years pretending to be their Grunkle if the box in the office was any indication. Who knows what he had done in the Pines name. His steadied his nerves, bringing the dagger back up.

The fight between the two started in earnest, but Dipper found that he was on the defensive from the outset. The Manotaur's had trained him for fighting a boxer, not a fencer. Stan's blade was a blur of silver, slicing through the air as Dipper struggled to keep up. A week of practice was nothing compared to thirty years, and it showed as Stan steadily sliced tears into Dipper's vest and hat in the few minutes since the fights start, making it poignant that Dipper was outmatched.

"I must admit Dipper, I'm surprised, you're doing better than I expected." Stan stated as Dipper narrowly avoided a blow to the face, instead resulting in a corner of his hat to be cut off.

Dipper simply gritted his teeth; the compliment meant nothing coming from a liar. Dipper saw an opening, and took it, rolling past Stan as the man sliced through the bedpost in an attempt to follow the boy. Dipper sprung back to his feet, the dagger drawn back, expecting to catch the older man by surprise.

"You'll find I'm fu-" Dipper was caught off-guard by Stan landing a solid kick to his face, causing him to drop the dagger in surprise as he tumbled backwards. Dipper fell through the open doorway and came to stop against railing over the first floor. He braced himself against the railing, only to yell in surprise as the railing gave way with a sudden crack, causing him to fall out of sight.

"I guess he wasn't as strong as I thought." – Stan sighed, bringing the sword back to his side. He walked over to the railing as he realized there was another problem. – "What am I supposed tell Alex and Ariel?"

He did not have to ponder over it too much as there was _Pfft_ , followed by a grappling hook shooting up from below. The grappling hook clipped his face before embedding into the ceiling above him. Stan stumbled backwards, clutching his face in pain. He failed to notice Dipper leaping onto the landing as the grappling hook was reeled in.

Dipper took advantage of Stan's distraction, and charged the older man with a roar of anger, pushing him backwards towards the window. This time, Stan gave the yell of surprise as he fell out the window. Dipper ignored his ragged breathing as he grabbed the dagger from its place on the floor before heading to the window. Dipper peered out at the ground below, hoping that the man was still alive. He wouldn't be able to get answers from a dead man after all. Stan's fez laid on the ground alone, and as Dipper realized the significance of this, a hand grabbed the back of his vest from above and pulled him out of the window before tossing him across the roof. Dipper rolled several times before stopping short of the roof edge. He looked up at the grinning face of his foe.

"Most impressive Dipper, most impressive indeed. I thought for sure you'd wimp out by now." The older man commented with a smile. Dipper was furious.

"Will you stop that? Stop acting like you're proud of me, you're not my Grunkle." Dipper yelled. Instead of getting angry, Stan simply laughed. Dipper saw red, and charged the man, intent of running him through.

Just as Dipper got within arm's reach, Stan cried, "Right Hook!" and delivered a solid left hook to Dipper's face. Dipper was not certain if he blacked out, but when he came to, he was on the edge of the roof, looking down at the ground below, where the Manotaur's blade rested. Dipper rolled over to look at Stan, who was standing over him.

"So, is this the part where you kill me and blame it on the Manotaurs?" Dipper asked as he inwardly lamented his inability to protect Mabel. Stan scoffed.

"Of course not, that's a stupid plan." – Silence reigned between two for several moments before Stan spoke again. – "Dipper, did your dad ever tell you about your grandfather?"

Dipper stared at him, baffled. "My dad said he was a dead-beat that cut off contact with him and grandma when he was a kid. What does that have to do with anything?"

Stan stared at him in stony silence for several long moments, "Because Dipper, _I am your Grandfather_."

* * *

 **AN: That's right, after a month long hiatus, I am back! To fans of _Proverbial Devil_ , I will be adding the next chapter for the story next Sunday. I just decided to dedicate this one to Star Wars since it is, after all, May 4th.**

 **To my _Proverbial Devil_ followers, I have decided to throw you a bone. As you can obviously tell, Stan in this chapter is a mixture of himself and Darth Vader. However, the Stan in this short story also had inspirations from one other character. To the first person that can guess the name of the character, I will give you a hint to one of the story's mysteries that is so huge, it will practically bust open the mystery, and may very well lead you on the path to solving the other mysteries too.**

 **I will give you some hints as to the identity of this character.**

 **He too has a signature dress, similar to Stan's own.**

 **He may be a con-man with few scruples, but he can't stand to see kids get hurt.**

 **His favorite pastime is taking bearfoot walks through the woods.**

 **I'll see you all next week.**


End file.
